I have some theories. On the season premiere of The Bachelorette, JoJo Fletcher narrowed down her field of potential mates from 26 to 20. Tonight she’ll cut another three. Who will it be?
But first, it definitely won’t be Jordan Rodgers, who is already positioned to win, or Chad, who is too good of a villain to get rid of so quickly. He won’t make it to the final four, but he’ll simmer for another couple of weeks until he inevitably blows his top and creates some huge dramatic scene. It probably won’t be Alex the Marine or Luke the veteran, because it would be bad form to cut them during an episode airing on Memorial Day. And it probably won’t be Chase, because he does something very smooth this week, as you see above.
Beyond that, though, anyone can go. Here’s who I predict it will be:
Brandon the Hipster: So far, the most hipster-ish thing we’ve seen from Brandon is his above-it-all attitude. In his introduction last week, he told JoJo that he’d never seen the show, didn’t know anything about her and basically didn’t care. And if there’s one thing that will get you sent home, it’s not caring. You have to be in it to win it, and Brandon is in it for… who knows. He barely spoke in the premiere. I don’t think he got any one-on-one time with JoJo during the cocktail party. He’s not making any impression beyond his job title, and a title is not enough.
Evan the ED Specialist: Evan has outlived his purpose, which was to be comic relief with his double entendres in the premiere. Now he’s just a guy with a weird haircut who’s a little too old and not quite handsome enough to last much longer. I feel bad passing such a harsh judgement on a 33-year-old, objectively handsome, seemingly nice enough guy, but I understand the rules of this ruthless show.
Vinny: Who’s Vinny again? Oh, he’s one of the drunk guys who interrupted JoJo’s confessional last week. He’s barely made any impression except to seem like kind of a jerk, and he’s not hot enough to pull that off.
The Bachelorette airs Monday, May 30 at 8/7c.
Who do you think is getting eliminated?