Bea Oxford might only be 7 years old, but she’s already way cooler than we are.
Kelly Oxford is a New York Times best-selling author and mother of three who just so happens to have a hilarious Twitter account.
On her account, Oxford features parenting takes, stream of consciousness thoughts and amazing quips from her daughter, Bea. Bea has some perfect takes on everything from periods to Donald Trump to Beyoncé, and is clearly wise far beyond her years.
Are people surprised by Bea’s grown-up view of the world?
“All the time,” Oxford told BuzzFeed. “Every day.”
Read ’em and weep from the hilarity.
7yr old "Do women get their periods on weekends too?"
7yr old mutters to herself "Jesus Christ"
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 20, 2015
7YO telling our pro Trump, US border immigration officer, "Trump's Mexico wall is racist" Is the closest I'll get to a cocaine high again.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) June 19, 2016
7YO just asked if there is such a thing as weed ice cream, if you ever wondered what it's like to raise kids in LA.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) December 19, 2015
Husband to 7yr old daughter: Do you want to go see the Hunger Games?
7yr old, very dryly: I don't even know what that is.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 28, 2015
7YO, while cooking dinner:
"Salmon is so beautiful. I feel bad for eating it. I should be vegetarian." Sighs, "But meat tastes too good."
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) April 29, 2016
7yo just managed to make me feel young then old in one sentence, "Mom, you were alive when Michael Jackson was alive?!"
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) February 23, 2016
7yo "Is Ellen a girl? Is she a transfer girl?"
Me "She's lesbian."
7yo "So basically just gay. Got it. Like all my friends moms."
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) December 30, 2015
7yo "They have night cameras on Survivor? Guess they can't have sex"
Me "I can't believe you said that.
7yo "I can't believe I did either."
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 5, 2016
Waiter: You finished dessert fast; want anything else?
Bea 7yo: No thanks (Whispers to self) kinda weird to ask that after serving dessert.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) May 22, 2016
7YO singing along to Beyonce's HOLD UP, stops, whispers..
"I'm so glad Beyoncé wrote this song. I'm so glad her husband cheated on her."
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) April 28, 2016
"Tupac is dead?!" – my poor 7YO learning life's hard lessons tonight.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) February 13, 2016
Me "Bea, you're seven, you don't need a purse. When I was seven I didn't have one."
Bea "You lived in Alberta!!!"
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) April 23, 2016
Bea, you’re awesome.
I can put your little sister singing that you like big balls on Instagram too. #jazzhands #7yrolds
CORRECTION: An earlier version of this story stated that Oxford is a mother of two. She has three children.